Ronald McDonald named special US envoy to Iraq

Ronald McDonald has agreed to become a special envoy to Iraq and its children, according to Presidential spokesperson Scott McClellan in a press briefing yesterday.

"Ronald McDonald is well-known and trusted around the world," said Fleischer, "and thus is the perfect choice to represent American values as we win the hearts of the Iraqi people."

McDonald pledged to open a dialogue between the Shia and Sunni Muslim children, adding that when they grew older, McDonald's would be an equal opportunity employer.

Reaction to the appointment was favorable in the nation's capital, where McDonald, shown here with the Israeli delegate to the recent World Conference Against Racism held in Durban, South Africa, is respected as an icon of free enterprise and global goodwill.

Sources within the Bush administration said that if the Ronald McDonald mission is successful in winning over the Iraqi people, it could pave the way for similar efforts, perhaps including the Exxon Tiger and the Coors Light twins.

McDonald is expected to kick off his tour of Iraq with a special appearance at the opening of the new McDonald's restaurant next to the Tomb of Ali in Najaf, one of the holiest shrines to Shi'ite Muslims around the world.